10 Days of Proverbs 31~ Day SEVEN

Proverbs 31:20

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.



It is Day Seven of Ten days of Proverbs 31. Thank you for coming back. By now, you already know that I am speaking about taking care of others.
Today, I would like to talk a bit about enabling.
It is my nature to try and help someone who is down on their luck, or who might be enduring a tough situation. After all, I feel everyone needs to be taken care of at some point in their life. But are we really taking care of someone or are we helping them to make the same mistakes over and over?
What exactly does this mean? Are we really hurting someone if we are just trying to help them? Possibly.
Here is a good example to help you understand what I am getting at.

 Lets say you have this friend who has a difficult time holding a job, and he comes to you for financial help each time he loses a job or even quits a job. You keep giving him money to help him. This problem is not new to your friend, it has been going on for years. He has never been committed to keeping a job and always has an excuse as to why, such as, the boss was mean, or his hours were too hard to follow.
You sometimes join him in blaming others to make him feel better. You continuing to help him and joining him in blaming others is enabling and clearly not helping him.
How could you help him and not enable your friend? This is a difficult situation because you do not want him to suffer financially but you also want him to learn from his mistakes.
Perhaps this person is not your friend, but even your own son? That would even make it more difficult. I sure would want to rescue my son and help him each time.
How could you help and not enable this person? I do not have the answers. I can only say what I think I would do if faced this situation. Maybe by praying with and for this person. Instead of helping financially, maybe helping with job resumes or college applications. Or, maybe its time for some tough love and no more!

2 Thessalonians 3:10  For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.”

(That seems pretty harsh, but God gives us rules for a reason).

I encourage you, that if you are in a similar situation, to really analyze it and pray about your situation. Ask God to show you how to help and not enable wrongful behavior.

Today is day 7 and many others are doing a series on the different aspects of Proverbs 31. Here is a list of the bloggers and their topics.

• Contributing to family income/2 better than 1
• The Fear of the Lord/ Satisfied by Love
• Using time wisely/BlessedBeyondMeasure
• Taking care of needy/ Shadow Wonder
• Using money wisely/Jennifer Sikora
• Keeping an eye on home/Just a Glimpse
• She can laugh at the days ahead/faith filled food for moms
• Clothed in strength and dignity/One thing I’ve Learned
• Taking care of others/ 2 savvy gals
• Being Creative/A Patchwork Mommy
• Bringing Variety to Family/ Karen Dawkins
• Extending your Hand to the Poor/Women’s Fellowship House
• Organization/Teaching what is Good